Saturday, November 24, 2007
forgotten times
I also forgot to mention Jeff a boy from my job who gave me my first unexpected kiss. It was really nice. too bad he got back with his girlfriend.
Friday, November 23, 2007
Bruises and Burns
Well since Halloween I have stopped seeing the guy I was "dating". I met up with his hot hot friend and we made out but he has a girlfriend.
And alas if Only I could post the pictures of left arm. Had a really fun night two nights ago. My roommate got into an accident ( he's ok thank goodness) which prompted me to drink with him which prompted people to come over which prompted a boy to sleep in my bed. Bones! he's cute we wandered around together on the night of my halloween party but i ran away form him. I wasnt feeling it. Now I think I could like him. We actually just slept together. too cute. then he took my shirt off the next morning and I gave hima hard on and he left. ::D then today Thanksgiving! I cooked a huge meal and people came over to my house in the evening. I didnt actually cook for them i didnt know anyone was coming. but Bones came! and we hung out and then he left early after i gave him a hard on and we made out. a mutual friend said that Bones is seeing some girl where he lives about an hour away from here.
dont worry updates on the situation will follow.
description of Bones: scruffy, blue eyes, dark hair, taller than me by alot, thinner but muscly, in a band very very attractive. smells good. :: D
And alas if Only I could post the pictures of left arm. Had a really fun night two nights ago. My roommate got into an accident ( he's ok thank goodness) which prompted me to drink with him which prompted people to come over which prompted a boy to sleep in my bed. Bones! he's cute we wandered around together on the night of my halloween party but i ran away form him. I wasnt feeling it. Now I think I could like him. We actually just slept together. too cute. then he took my shirt off the next morning and I gave hima hard on and he left. ::D then today Thanksgiving! I cooked a huge meal and people came over to my house in the evening. I didnt actually cook for them i didnt know anyone was coming. but Bones came! and we hung out and then he left early after i gave him a hard on and we made out. a mutual friend said that Bones is seeing some girl where he lives about an hour away from here.
dont worry updates on the situation will follow.
description of Bones: scruffy, blue eyes, dark hair, taller than me by alot, thinner but muscly, in a band very very attractive. smells good. :: D
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Fate'll spit in Yer Eye, but She'll also make you Cum
Well after all the mess with said friend and secretly controlling robot master( laughs manically ) my move has turned into a success.
Although the boy im seeing may not be around much longer. We had our first date on Halloween and had really hot sex. I told him we werent boyfriend and girlfriend and he was like kinda sad about it. I dont want to just be with one person. Especially a morning person. Ugh.
oh Jefferson if you're reading this I may be visiting for a few days in January. ::D
I'll be seeing Matt as well.
Although the boy im seeing may not be around much longer. We had our first date on Halloween and had really hot sex. I told him we werent boyfriend and girlfriend and he was like kinda sad about it. I dont want to just be with one person. Especially a morning person. Ugh.
oh Jefferson if you're reading this I may be visiting for a few days in January. ::D
I'll be seeing Matt as well.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Life and Things
hmm what did i last report on?
oh yes Jordan. Well since then I have let that desire pass. He's more of a lady than a man and anyone who knows me knows when I want a man a want a MAN. no man tears thanks.
So I went on a "date" with a hotty from okcupid. The basic do I want to fuck you? kinda exploratory date where if he turns out to be ugly or feels the need to talk alot about things I dont want to hear I tell him he should leave. LUckily for me he was very attractive. hot hot body.
un luckily for me he got killed by a condom. Or rather his hard on did. HUUUUGE shame it would have been amazing. He took care of me though the second guy to be able to find and kepp my clit happy. although a little too much I didnt even get fingered. I always was a fan of the happy combination of both. Oh well I gave him a hand job. :: D
My apartment is not quite as moved into as i would like at this point but im still broke. I have a nasty feeling its going to be like that for well a really really long time. No real man news to repot Im still just trying to find someone not connected to my job at all. Which is proving slightly more difficult than I had hoped. maybe im making a big thing out of nothing. I usually do.
oh yes Jordan. Well since then I have let that desire pass. He's more of a lady than a man and anyone who knows me knows when I want a man a want a MAN. no man tears thanks.
So I went on a "date" with a hotty from okcupid. The basic do I want to fuck you? kinda exploratory date where if he turns out to be ugly or feels the need to talk alot about things I dont want to hear I tell him he should leave. LUckily for me he was very attractive. hot hot body.
un luckily for me he got killed by a condom. Or rather his hard on did. HUUUUGE shame it would have been amazing. He took care of me though the second guy to be able to find and kepp my clit happy. although a little too much I didnt even get fingered. I always was a fan of the happy combination of both. Oh well I gave him a hand job. :: D
My apartment is not quite as moved into as i would like at this point but im still broke. I have a nasty feeling its going to be like that for well a really really long time. No real man news to repot Im still just trying to find someone not connected to my job at all. Which is proving slightly more difficult than I had hoped. maybe im making a big thing out of nothing. I usually do.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
And the reason is.... Jordan?
hmm so Mark ( the guy i am uber in like with ) was suposse to come back tofday but no one has heard form him.
in his absense....
ok so the night of mimosas and goodbyes I walked outside what is now emy front door to what i believe was Mark telling Jordan to go for me. Which sucked but hey the guy's attached i knew that wasnt going anywhere. So im all who wants a mimosa!!!!!!!!!!
and Jordan says ok.
So since then i've only really seen him at work. BUt i keep staring at him. He's a bit bigger than i like my white boys but it isnt something that bothers me. And we make each other smile hardcore. like the smile that you cant make go away until you press your lips in and think of other things.
The other day I was walking with my neighbor Blue who yes i've had sex with. it was short and sweet for him becuase im just that good. BUT anyway we were walking to the grocery store and we see Jordan at the laundry mat ( even though he lives like a half hour away possibly more) and I bust on him all the time for not coming by the apartment and he throws me shitty excuses) So now its like our thing. I pretend to be really mad at him and we glare at each other til someone cracks. it's usually me.
TOday I was on register and he was wheeling water up to the front and there was customer traffic meaning people were being retarded so he stopped next to me and just stared so i stared and then looked down and looked back up and he was still staring. Then we smiled. And kept smiling. and he went to work and i went to work. ANd i look up again and he's looking at me so i stick my tongue out at him. And he smiles and I smile and i couldnt make it go away. For like 3 mins straight i have this goofy secret smile. SO i look over and he's doing the exact same thing. kinda tight lips but smiling the same i cant make this smile go away thing i was doing. Then we stared at each other form across the store while he stocked shelves and i was still on reg. ITs so odd, i havent had this feeling in a very long time. I want to explore it.
but he doesnt have enough time for me. He's in school. I know i wouldnt be happy with the lack of atention. but who knows right?
-Ruby
in his absense....
ok so the night of mimosas and goodbyes I walked outside what is now emy front door to what i believe was Mark telling Jordan to go for me. Which sucked but hey the guy's attached i knew that wasnt going anywhere. So im all who wants a mimosa!!!!!!!!!!
and Jordan says ok.
So since then i've only really seen him at work. BUt i keep staring at him. He's a bit bigger than i like my white boys but it isnt something that bothers me. And we make each other smile hardcore. like the smile that you cant make go away until you press your lips in and think of other things.
The other day I was walking with my neighbor Blue who yes i've had sex with. it was short and sweet for him becuase im just that good. BUT anyway we were walking to the grocery store and we see Jordan at the laundry mat ( even though he lives like a half hour away possibly more) and I bust on him all the time for not coming by the apartment and he throws me shitty excuses) So now its like our thing. I pretend to be really mad at him and we glare at each other til someone cracks. it's usually me.
TOday I was on register and he was wheeling water up to the front and there was customer traffic meaning people were being retarded so he stopped next to me and just stared so i stared and then looked down and looked back up and he was still staring. Then we smiled. And kept smiling. and he went to work and i went to work. ANd i look up again and he's looking at me so i stick my tongue out at him. And he smiles and I smile and i couldnt make it go away. For like 3 mins straight i have this goofy secret smile. SO i look over and he's doing the exact same thing. kinda tight lips but smiling the same i cant make this smile go away thing i was doing. Then we stared at each other form across the store while he stocked shelves and i was still on reg. ITs so odd, i havent had this feeling in a very long time. I want to explore it.
but he doesnt have enough time for me. He's in school. I know i wouldnt be happy with the lack of atention. but who knows right?
-Ruby
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
It always comes out wrong
Lord, life is so insane. Why would you have created a place in which everyone is MAD?
completely off their rockers.
like me for instance.
put up a parking lot. Couldnt have had paradise either. but it's great to know how strongly I feel about one of my friends who just so happens to be moving today and also going to visit his gf in australia.
Why, life do you have to treat me this way? A firm believer in the everything happens for a reason theory I cant see the reason in most parts of these last few weeks. with my living situation that i cant talk about here cuz i'll get narked on for having a feeling of own i might want to express and the girl i was looking for a place with deciding to just leave and the boy drama. I've found 2 who hit me hard in the face with feelings and couldnt have either one. TWo! i couldnt even find one in NYC in almost 3 years.
There had better be a damn good reason for this.
-Ruby
completely off their rockers.
like me for instance.
put up a parking lot. Couldnt have had paradise either. but it's great to know how strongly I feel about one of my friends who just so happens to be moving today and also going to visit his gf in australia.
Why, life do you have to treat me this way? A firm believer in the everything happens for a reason theory I cant see the reason in most parts of these last few weeks. with my living situation that i cant talk about here cuz i'll get narked on for having a feeling of own i might want to express and the girl i was looking for a place with deciding to just leave and the boy drama. I've found 2 who hit me hard in the face with feelings and couldnt have either one. TWo! i couldnt even find one in NYC in almost 3 years.
There had better be a damn good reason for this.
-Ruby
Saturday, September 8, 2007
If you Ask Me to be Clever I'll Break Your Face
Im really grumpy and depressed though still quite happy with my current situation. Looking for an apartment wondering if im going to sex up this semi random guy whos not my type but has a bangin body.
hopefully seeing Matthieu next sunday, doubt ill be able to sex him up but maybe ill force him to make out with me.
Trying to ignore the burning desire to call Sky and occasionally failing miserably ( like when he texts me telling me to call him later)hey SOMETIMES i resist.
I just need to pick a co worker and be like hey you fuck me.
worked last time and i didnt even have to say anything.
hopefully seeing Matthieu next sunday, doubt ill be able to sex him up but maybe ill force him to make out with me.
Trying to ignore the burning desire to call Sky and occasionally failing miserably ( like when he texts me telling me to call him later)hey SOMETIMES i resist.
I just need to pick a co worker and be like hey you fuck me.
worked last time and i didnt even have to say anything.
Sunday, September 2, 2007
The Low Down ... and Dirty
Ok so the news goes as follows....
I decided to fight for love. Wrote Sky a message telling him just that among other well written comments. He wrote back saying he was sick and would write me later tonight, I think he fell asleep in the lobby. I still have hope although it is small.
I went on a meeting with Matthieu from Okcupid who i seem interested in b/c he is cute and innocent and i can totally corrupt him.
I had sex with some co-workers.
That right I said co-workERS
MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. I rock.
I decided to fight for love. Wrote Sky a message telling him just that among other well written comments. He wrote back saying he was sick and would write me later tonight, I think he fell asleep in the lobby. I still have hope although it is small.
I went on a meeting with Matthieu from Okcupid who i seem interested in b/c he is cute and innocent and i can totally corrupt him.
I had sex with some co-workers.
That right I said co-workERS
MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. I rock.
Saturday, September 1, 2007
But of course
FUCK you. Fuck you for pretending to be right for me and not meaning it.
Fuck you for making me have a feeling and then taking it away.
FUCK YOU for not realizing or being afraid of what could have happened.
FUCK YOU.
I knew that he didnt really want what i wanted. back to breaking hearts and not getting emotionally attached.
Fuck you for making me have a feeling and then taking it away.
FUCK YOU for not realizing or being afraid of what could have happened.
FUCK YOU.
I knew that he didnt really want what i wanted. back to breaking hearts and not getting emotionally attached.
Friday, August 31, 2007
what the HELL is going on
i dont understand, whats up with this kid?
wednesday he calls me up and asks me repeatedly to drive up and spend time with 'im even though he'd be at work. Just come hang out in the lobby with him. So then im all ok well i have staurday off ill come up then. but no. he sends me a text telling me i should come up but should wait til he has a day off. So i request off mon and tuesday so i can drive up to see him and get monday tuesday AND wednesday off. Soo im ALll excited thinking im going to get to see him for like two days at least. but no
no instead of sticking to that he has to come down here. So fine whatever ill see him during the day at least for two days cuz he doesnt want to sleep here. Fine whatev.
But NOOOOo now on monday he's driving to plam dale whereve the fuck that is and i can see him tuesday and a little bit of wednesday before he leaves.
and then he got off the phone with me. afte 20 MINS of talking. we normally talk for at least an hour. im so confused and upset he tells to me drive up and see him and then when im actually going ot do it he tells me not to. He tells me he wants to see me but when he actually has a chance he decides to spend the least amount of time with me.
I dont like this at all. he has to make up his fucking mind or not see me at all. its not fair to play with someones head. if he wants me to be a malicous bitch i will be. but i dont wnat to be.
so instead i've decided that since we aren't even seeing each other that its perfectly ok for me to go and see people. Like the other guy i think is awesome but didnt want to get involved with b/c of my like for someon else. But you know what?
fuck it. fuck feelings and fuck all this head game shit. I didnt want it in the first place.
wednesday he calls me up and asks me repeatedly to drive up and spend time with 'im even though he'd be at work. Just come hang out in the lobby with him. So then im all ok well i have staurday off ill come up then. but no. he sends me a text telling me i should come up but should wait til he has a day off. So i request off mon and tuesday so i can drive up to see him and get monday tuesday AND wednesday off. Soo im ALll excited thinking im going to get to see him for like two days at least. but no
no instead of sticking to that he has to come down here. So fine whatever ill see him during the day at least for two days cuz he doesnt want to sleep here. Fine whatev.
But NOOOOo now on monday he's driving to plam dale whereve the fuck that is and i can see him tuesday and a little bit of wednesday before he leaves.
and then he got off the phone with me. afte 20 MINS of talking. we normally talk for at least an hour. im so confused and upset he tells to me drive up and see him and then when im actually going ot do it he tells me not to. He tells me he wants to see me but when he actually has a chance he decides to spend the least amount of time with me.
I dont like this at all. he has to make up his fucking mind or not see me at all. its not fair to play with someones head. if he wants me to be a malicous bitch i will be. but i dont wnat to be.
so instead i've decided that since we aren't even seeing each other that its perfectly ok for me to go and see people. Like the other guy i think is awesome but didnt want to get involved with b/c of my like for someon else. But you know what?
fuck it. fuck feelings and fuck all this head game shit. I didnt want it in the first place.
Monday, August 27, 2007
Sunday, August 26, 2007
The Official Buzz Kill
moral: trust your friends with nothing
back story:
I moved to CA with the promise of a couch and free rent. Now I'm being booted by my very good friend So that her subtly controlling assmonkey of a girlfriend can move in. The type of spoiled girl who always gets her way and clearly doesnt want me in my friends life. For whatever reason. And since my friend is going along with it. I dont have a choice.
So to sum up, the first boy I've liked in abour 4 years might be running away screaming ( I got a messge from him that is secretly telling me he thinks he might shoot himself if he had to spend two days with me ( although he did the i dont knwo if You can take ME shit ) and Im homeless in a month.
So rock on.
back story:
I moved to CA with the promise of a couch and free rent. Now I'm being booted by my very good friend So that her subtly controlling assmonkey of a girlfriend can move in. The type of spoiled girl who always gets her way and clearly doesnt want me in my friends life. For whatever reason. And since my friend is going along with it. I dont have a choice.
So to sum up, the first boy I've liked in abour 4 years might be running away screaming ( I got a messge from him that is secretly telling me he thinks he might shoot himself if he had to spend two days with me ( although he did the i dont knwo if You can take ME shit ) and Im homeless in a month.
So rock on.
The Rant AND the Rave about Luf
So the boy from okcupid.
I am unique. I am strange. i know when i will love someone.
Never in my LIFE have i met anyone who some completley compliments me.
So Skyler. The boy who gives me everything I want without knowing I want it. Im so scared.
I have to urge to run away. I have the thougt that he will run away. Im so scared.
Someone reassure me. SOmeone hold me and tel lme I will be fine. Oh wait thats something Sky would do if he knew how i felt. But i cant tell him. Its been a week! he's aboy. He would run. WOuldnt he?
Would you? How am I supposed to let my guard down? After the most terrible of relationships in 03-'04 the love of my life, the douche bag of america, the scars i wear!
I talk to this boy everynight. Everything he says makes me wish with all my soul that he were next to me. That somehow if I close my eyes and wish enough I could be next to him. But I cant tell him. I wont be able to tell him the next time i see him ( if i get the days off) And i wont be able to tell him the time after that. I cant tell him on the phone ( his reaction could be a lie how would i know? i wouldnt be there to see it) I just cant bear to say it. Iliek you , eventually I love you. i cant say it anymore. Saying it means it'll end. This boy has no idea how fucked up I am.
What do i do? how do i stop freaking out and go with the flow? Everything I know says he'll run. Everythign i Know tells me im the one who will fuck it up.
i wish i wish i wish
wishing does nothing for the soul.
End of Rant. Beginning of worry, luf, and heartache.
I am unique. I am strange. i know when i will love someone.
Never in my LIFE have i met anyone who some completley compliments me.
So Skyler. The boy who gives me everything I want without knowing I want it. Im so scared.
I have to urge to run away. I have the thougt that he will run away. Im so scared.
Someone reassure me. SOmeone hold me and tel lme I will be fine. Oh wait thats something Sky would do if he knew how i felt. But i cant tell him. Its been a week! he's aboy. He would run. WOuldnt he?
Would you? How am I supposed to let my guard down? After the most terrible of relationships in 03-'04 the love of my life, the douche bag of america, the scars i wear!
I talk to this boy everynight. Everything he says makes me wish with all my soul that he were next to me. That somehow if I close my eyes and wish enough I could be next to him. But I cant tell him. I wont be able to tell him the next time i see him ( if i get the days off) And i wont be able to tell him the time after that. I cant tell him on the phone ( his reaction could be a lie how would i know? i wouldnt be there to see it) I just cant bear to say it. Iliek you , eventually I love you. i cant say it anymore. Saying it means it'll end. This boy has no idea how fucked up I am.
What do i do? how do i stop freaking out and go with the flow? Everything I know says he'll run. Everythign i Know tells me im the one who will fuck it up.
i wish i wish i wish
wishing does nothing for the soul.
End of Rant. Beginning of worry, luf, and heartache.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Dating + 2
Well as some of you who actually know me know I have an okcupid account. ( Thank you Em. ) no for me okcupid is just another way to meet guys ( and girls) that i want to fuck. But since i recently movved to Cali i've been holding off on the one night stands ( they're isnt an orgy scene in santa B) and all that fun stuff. So i met up with a guy from okcupid who I thought was pretty decent and he as but i didnt feel the spark.
So whilst browsing around the internet for emails and such i have a tendancy to leave my okcupid up and people IM me through it. Alot of people just want me to talk dirty to them which i hate because unless imgetting something outta uit im not going to entertain some loser. ( i told you i was a bitch)
so this one day im chatting it up with a hotty from my area and i get an incoming chat from this guy with one picture thats liek well i think you're cute but who knows cuz its grainy and im really precarious about it and i really wanted to blow him off. So we get to talking and in the back of mind i keep thinking this guys a dick he's so totally going to say something dick-ish any minute know thats going to make me want to wish i never accepted his chat. But he didnt. And the next night he didnt. and the night after that
So I started working at trader Joes the 4 to midnight shift. And i had talked to this guy ( Skyler ) on the phone in my bathrub, the only place i get reception) and all I could think was that I loved the sound of his voice. I was very into it. So the 21 I go into work and Sklyer was in the area ( he lives like 7 hrs away from me) but i told my new foudn co workers i would go to the bar with them. So im driving and im lost and he calls and we chat for a second and he's all wel li Dont want to distract you and we hang up and i get to where im going and im wandering around looking for an atm and i have a voicemail. And its Skyler ( what a great name!)
and he's like look I was thinking after i hung up with you that all i want to do tonight is hang out with Lily. So i leap. We decided to meet half way between where i was and where he was visiting. The state beach.
I've never hung out with anyone on the beach at night. We walked around and hung out and got rough( literally the whole little kid im going to beat onyou cuz i like you deal) and then idk i was kissing his neck and then we wre kissing and for once in a really long time i felt passion. Welay in the sand and he rubbed my back without even me saying anything and we had completely comforatable silence. And the passion I felt for him! I had passion with Matt but it was more raw and sexual. This was more I just want to touch you, feel you, know you passion. The kind of passion I had when i was in love with my Bf in'03.
So im thinking , interesting i barely know the guy.
well we hung out until 5am. and we never had sex. he didnt even touch me inappropriately. ( half to my dismay half to my liking)
so of course we talked tonight on the phone and I went out to my car drunk to talk to him in private ( i live with 2 lezz's) and im like hmm my sex box is in this car. So i start to have some fun. Just hearing his voice makes me hot. I havent been with someone who seemed to respect me so much in years. So im in the car and im wearing his shirt ( that he handed me at the 2nd beach we went to that night totally un asked totally old fashioned date like) and all i can think is " i wish you were here"
So im trying to not think about the fact that I wanted to curl up with him on the beach ( he slep t on the beach that night cuz he locked himself out of his g/ parents house) and i would have had he oked it. But i didnt ask if he was ok with it. plus i had work an all to think about.
Its interesting getting bacck into the whole taking it semi slow stage. i wont get to Sky alot due to the time it takes to drive plus i have random day soff and he has random day of fand we work dif. night shifts. I get off at midnight he gets on at 11pm butim willing to try.
PLus when i move to San fran it wont be as much of a hassle to drive to his area.
i think im in shock. LIfe is going all too well. i dont trust it.
So whilst browsing around the internet for emails and such i have a tendancy to leave my okcupid up and people IM me through it. Alot of people just want me to talk dirty to them which i hate because unless imgetting something outta uit im not going to entertain some loser. ( i told you i was a bitch)
so this one day im chatting it up with a hotty from my area and i get an incoming chat from this guy with one picture thats liek well i think you're cute but who knows cuz its grainy and im really precarious about it and i really wanted to blow him off. So we get to talking and in the back of mind i keep thinking this guys a dick he's so totally going to say something dick-ish any minute know thats going to make me want to wish i never accepted his chat. But he didnt. And the next night he didnt. and the night after that
So I started working at trader Joes the 4 to midnight shift. And i had talked to this guy ( Skyler ) on the phone in my bathrub, the only place i get reception) and all I could think was that I loved the sound of his voice. I was very into it. So the 21 I go into work and Sklyer was in the area ( he lives like 7 hrs away from me) but i told my new foudn co workers i would go to the bar with them. So im driving and im lost and he calls and we chat for a second and he's all wel li Dont want to distract you and we hang up and i get to where im going and im wandering around looking for an atm and i have a voicemail. And its Skyler ( what a great name!)
and he's like look I was thinking after i hung up with you that all i want to do tonight is hang out with Lily. So i leap. We decided to meet half way between where i was and where he was visiting. The state beach.
I've never hung out with anyone on the beach at night. We walked around and hung out and got rough( literally the whole little kid im going to beat onyou cuz i like you deal) and then idk i was kissing his neck and then we wre kissing and for once in a really long time i felt passion. Welay in the sand and he rubbed my back without even me saying anything and we had completely comforatable silence. And the passion I felt for him! I had passion with Matt but it was more raw and sexual. This was more I just want to touch you, feel you, know you passion. The kind of passion I had when i was in love with my Bf in'03.
So im thinking , interesting i barely know the guy.
well we hung out until 5am. and we never had sex. he didnt even touch me inappropriately. ( half to my dismay half to my liking)
so of course we talked tonight on the phone and I went out to my car drunk to talk to him in private ( i live with 2 lezz's) and im like hmm my sex box is in this car. So i start to have some fun. Just hearing his voice makes me hot. I havent been with someone who seemed to respect me so much in years. So im in the car and im wearing his shirt ( that he handed me at the 2nd beach we went to that night totally un asked totally old fashioned date like) and all i can think is " i wish you were here"
So im trying to not think about the fact that I wanted to curl up with him on the beach ( he slep t on the beach that night cuz he locked himself out of his g/ parents house) and i would have had he oked it. But i didnt ask if he was ok with it. plus i had work an all to think about.
Its interesting getting bacck into the whole taking it semi slow stage. i wont get to Sky alot due to the time it takes to drive plus i have random day soff and he has random day of fand we work dif. night shifts. I get off at midnight he gets on at 11pm butim willing to try.
PLus when i move to San fran it wont be as much of a hassle to drive to his area.
i think im in shock. LIfe is going all too well.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
And now, for a post that has nothing to do with sex!
I just have some general good news I felt like reporting.
I had a 2 hour interview with Jeff from Starbucks and two other loverly ladies ( older women) today which went great followed by an amazing 2 hours of volleyball. It was AWESOME. i mean that in the original sense of the word. Down at the beach Right next to the waves and everything was surreal. The waves in the background where it met the sand made the water look like a computer generated display with overly large boats drifting by. It was great.
Plus theres a cute guy Guy on my new team. hopefully ill have a new sex blog soon :: D
I just have some general good news I felt like reporting.
I had a 2 hour interview with Jeff from Starbucks and two other loverly ladies ( older women) today which went great followed by an amazing 2 hours of volleyball. It was AWESOME. i mean that in the original sense of the word. Down at the beach Right next to the waves and everything was surreal. The waves in the background where it met the sand made the water look like a computer generated display with overly large boats drifting by. It was great.
Plus theres a cute guy Guy on my new team. hopefully ill have a new sex blog soon :: D
Monday, August 6, 2007
Black shirt it never gets dirty the longer you wear it the CRAZIER YOU GET!
Well the craziness has started again. Last night i went to gay night at Wildcat, which really isnt ever that gay. Lots of straight people. So when I had a full on ass grab I kinda well, i fucking flipped out.
I didnt even realize what I was doing. But this guy feels me up trying to get by me and i stand there for one second and watch his back and he wanders off then i litterally marched up to him ( im tall it took like 3 steps) and was like ---------------- ( i have no idea what i said) and then I grabbed the front of his shirt ( according to my friends who were behind me) and said dont you ever fucking touch me again. And then more word were exchanged and i dont remember what cuz it happen really fast. But he apologized and I walked back to m friends and then he ( his name is Daniel) walked up cuz he knew some of my friends and then he was explaining more and I was like you dont have to do that and then HE took offense and said something and flipped me off and I was like ok fine whatever if that's how you wawnt to be. So our mutual friend Ron was like ok hi! and did introductions and then Daniel was aplogizing and we were laughing and over it.
So for the rest of the night he was apologizing and we were having fun with each other. I cant believe I almost hit him though I was so angry. So of course I thought that happening would make me social outcast and that any straight boy would never come near me. So imagine my surprise when a guy walked up to me and said hello.
Not a terrible looking asian guy in a tight black shirt and black pants, tattoo's seemed pretty nice. So im talking to him and my new friend Diana was talking to him and eventually he offered to buy drinks. Which is really nice. but I wasnt feeling him so i said no. But everyone said oh come on just do it! So he bought me a drink, Diana a drink and Ron ( ron is so gay!) a drink. And then we danced. Now I've stopped getting drunk to go to the club. Im begining to prefer being high and loving life in a more sober way ( lets face it after like an hour and a half im pretty striaght up sober) But one of the reasons i love gay night is not just to prowl for women but so that when i dance with a guy I can get my ultimate groove on without having to worry about saying no im not going home with you thanks. Unfortuanely now i was dancing with a straight guy. So after two awesome dances i was getting sick of being near this guy.One of the dances we had together though was Promiscuous Girl by Nelly Furtado I thought it was pretty appropriate. But after that I kept giving Diana help me looks. She suggested I go to the bathroom and suggested she show me where it is. So we spent like a good five or ten minutes in there talking and hanging out and then we went back around and danced some more.
But he found us. And after me blatently pointing out i was with Diana he walked away ( I had tried to hint to him that I was more gay by saying that I only come to Wildcat on gay night that i loved gay night for all these reasons like women!) So you think that him walking away meant he got it. That he understood that yes we had danced with him and we owed him nothing. Cuz honey after I danced with him we definately didnt owe him anything. So imagine our surprise when he came back later and Emily and Jen saved me and then we we got tired and went to sit down in the back corner booth and noticed he had been standing RIGHT behind me with his buddy. Or later when he came up again and tried to dance with me or the next time or at the end of the night when the bar was closing and I was dancing Salsa with Diana who was teaching me how and laughing and having a fucking great time and then this guy shows up. Im re tying my boot and suddenly hes dancing with my lady. ( my friend lady not my lady friend ) So i grab Diana and pull her away and then we go off with Emily and sit down adn then get up aain to dance to the last Salsa song. And creep ( Chris ) is STILL hovering, he found us by the door and said he hoped to see me around next Sunday, which means just in case NExt Sunday I cant go.
But all in all I had fun so wee!
I didnt even realize what I was doing. But this guy feels me up trying to get by me and i stand there for one second and watch his back and he wanders off then i litterally marched up to him ( im tall it took like 3 steps) and was like ---------------- ( i have no idea what i said) and then I grabbed the front of his shirt ( according to my friends who were behind me) and said dont you ever fucking touch me again. And then more word were exchanged and i dont remember what cuz it happen really fast. But he apologized and I walked back to m friends and then he ( his name is Daniel) walked up cuz he knew some of my friends and then he was explaining more and I was like you dont have to do that and then HE took offense and said something and flipped me off and I was like ok fine whatever if that's how you wawnt to be. So our mutual friend Ron was like ok hi! and did introductions and then Daniel was aplogizing and we were laughing and over it.
So for the rest of the night he was apologizing and we were having fun with each other. I cant believe I almost hit him though I was so angry. So of course I thought that happening would make me social outcast and that any straight boy would never come near me. So imagine my surprise when a guy walked up to me and said hello.
Not a terrible looking asian guy in a tight black shirt and black pants, tattoo's seemed pretty nice. So im talking to him and my new friend Diana was talking to him and eventually he offered to buy drinks. Which is really nice. but I wasnt feeling him so i said no. But everyone said oh come on just do it! So he bought me a drink, Diana a drink and Ron ( ron is so gay!) a drink. And then we danced. Now I've stopped getting drunk to go to the club. Im begining to prefer being high and loving life in a more sober way ( lets face it after like an hour and a half im pretty striaght up sober) But one of the reasons i love gay night is not just to prowl for women but so that when i dance with a guy I can get my ultimate groove on without having to worry about saying no im not going home with you thanks. Unfortuanely now i was dancing with a straight guy. So after two awesome dances i was getting sick of being near this guy.One of the dances we had together though was Promiscuous Girl by Nelly Furtado I thought it was pretty appropriate. But after that I kept giving Diana help me looks. She suggested I go to the bathroom and suggested she show me where it is. So we spent like a good five or ten minutes in there talking and hanging out and then we went back around and danced some more.
But he found us. And after me blatently pointing out i was with Diana he walked away ( I had tried to hint to him that I was more gay by saying that I only come to Wildcat on gay night that i loved gay night for all these reasons like women!) So you think that him walking away meant he got it. That he understood that yes we had danced with him and we owed him nothing. Cuz honey after I danced with him we definately didnt owe him anything. So imagine our surprise when he came back later and Emily and Jen saved me and then we we got tired and went to sit down in the back corner booth and noticed he had been standing RIGHT behind me with his buddy. Or later when he came up again and tried to dance with me or the next time or at the end of the night when the bar was closing and I was dancing Salsa with Diana who was teaching me how and laughing and having a fucking great time and then this guy shows up. Im re tying my boot and suddenly hes dancing with my lady. ( my friend lady not my lady friend ) So i grab Diana and pull her away and then we go off with Emily and sit down adn then get up aain to dance to the last Salsa song. And creep ( Chris ) is STILL hovering, he found us by the door and said he hoped to see me around next Sunday, which means just in case NExt Sunday I cant go.
But all in all I had fun so wee!
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
we all love a good suddenly
Hello there!
Last friday I went down to L.A with my gay girls to Truck Stop. Its a lesbian bar, obviously. I surveyed the scene took a few laps around had a ton of people come up and touch my tattoo. i was in this tube topped black lace dress with a green underlay and my black corset. Very chesty.
I wasnt really interested in that mant girls there although i did stop to have some conversation with a few loverly dykes here and there. I had one drink, then another and a few minutes later I had one more. Aaaaaand after a few more minutes I decided I should have felt it by now I should hve another drink. And after like 20 minutes when I still wasnt even buzzed I said hey why not have a shot??
And then i was blasted.
Now the night gets too fuzzy to recount here but the major part of the evening is memorable. Somehow I met a girl named Annabelle who was just as drunk as me! A good song came on and we took hands and scurried to the dance floor. Unfortuanely this girl was even more drunk than I and we kept bumping into people everywhere so I would unlock my lips from hers long enough to apologize and then we would do it all over again. Until she pushed me up against the wall of course.
Now it was right about here where I let myself become a little conscious of what was going on. Suddenly I realized Annabelle's hand was in my vagina. Right there in front of many many people. Now me being as drunk as I was assumed noone could see but my gays assured me later we got some stares from many a girl.
Then i had to puke!
Then the bar closed
Then i woke up with a hickey.
The end!
MOral: wait 30 mins in between drink 4 and 5 if you've just downed drink after drink. :: )
Last friday I went down to L.A with my gay girls to Truck Stop. Its a lesbian bar, obviously. I surveyed the scene took a few laps around had a ton of people come up and touch my tattoo. i was in this tube topped black lace dress with a green underlay and my black corset. Very chesty.
I wasnt really interested in that mant girls there although i did stop to have some conversation with a few loverly dykes here and there. I had one drink, then another and a few minutes later I had one more. Aaaaaand after a few more minutes I decided I should have felt it by now I should hve another drink. And after like 20 minutes when I still wasnt even buzzed I said hey why not have a shot??
And then i was blasted.
Now the night gets too fuzzy to recount here but the major part of the evening is memorable. Somehow I met a girl named Annabelle who was just as drunk as me! A good song came on and we took hands and scurried to the dance floor. Unfortuanely this girl was even more drunk than I and we kept bumping into people everywhere so I would unlock my lips from hers long enough to apologize and then we would do it all over again. Until she pushed me up against the wall of course.
Now it was right about here where I let myself become a little conscious of what was going on. Suddenly I realized Annabelle's hand was in my vagina. Right there in front of many many people. Now me being as drunk as I was assumed noone could see but my gays assured me later we got some stares from many a girl.
Then i had to puke!
Then the bar closed
Then i woke up with a hickey.
The end!
MOral: wait 30 mins in between drink 4 and 5 if you've just downed drink after drink. :: )
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
The Matt chronicles
Well its over. This is the last post of Matt. For a really long time anyway.
Matt was late. Again. It was the saturday before the Sunday i left on a bus to my parents house to retrieve my car. We of coursed shared the first kiss in the parking lot. Only a peck as I tried to avoid yet again not to smear my amazingly hot dark red lipstick all over him. I had gone out and gotten him beer and i still had my HUUUUUGE bottle of wine i had gotten the night before. So we smoked and drank and talked on the couch, and groped of course. Theres just no way i could possibly ever try to keep my hands off him. We talked alot actually. i dont really remember about what. home, family, life in general. I never seem to sy what i really mean around Matt, like i just let spill the stupidest and most ridiculous things I could think of before i can stop myself. Which os course is because i like the boy but it didnt seem to bother him that all i do is make an ass outta myself.
Because he came over so late Matt kept saying how hungry he was so I told him to make food. He settled on good 'ole mac n' cheese. He kept insisting on how the difference between a dry measuring cup and a wet one was this huge difference, Ive never seen someone so adamant about measuring. I usually just fling it. The best part about Matty is how he always has to be right. It makes for many a ridiculous argument that of course leads to great sex! Matty put the water on and took my underwear off. For a while i had my head on my hands and my hands gripping the counter top while Matt took me from behind, his hands on my hips moving me back and forth with a loving ferociousness. Unfortunately this left my head to bang against the microwave on the counter. Also we were rocking into each other that he slipped out and i got RAMMED in the anus. Which would have been fine because I had let Matt go there ( i rarely let anyone in!) I tore and had a fissure ( a small inflammed piece of skin due to tearing from anal sex ) So i had to stop and go omg omgomgomgomg awowowowowowow and run to the bathroom because i thought i was going to throw up from pain.
But I got over it and came back to my adoring lover.
Since Jeffersons's kitchen is narrow we just adjusted the direction we were in and I bent over even farther. I had no idea i'd grown so flexible. I put one palm on the floor and with my right hand gripped the side of the fridge so i wouldnt lose balance.
After i got amazingly tired I went to lay on the couch while Matty finished the mac n' cheese. After we dined on that Matty went out on the porch and then came to lay with me on the couch. After lying about we sat up and i got on my knees facing the wall ( still on the couch) while Matt took me from behind. We're just really really good like that. After I got him to cum (finally! i hate alcoholics) he said stay right there and disappeared. He came back with my fav. big rubber dildo and some other things like lube. He used his hands and the toys and was kissing me and kissing me I never wanted it to stop. I came a few times ( sorry Jefferson! I cleaned it up. ) and then he got on top of me. We didnt get off the couch for a really long time. :: D
Eventually we both just wanted to hang out and lay down so we went into the bedroom. matty was so tired that he passed out while channel surfing so i ended up surfing til the Breakfast Club showed up and then realized i didnt want to watch t.v. So i turned it off and turned off the light and just lay in his arms listening to him half breath half purr until it dawned on me I wasnt tired and should pack the rest of my things. I crawled back into bed a little while later and fell asleep in my favorite place, curled up on Matt.
In the morning i woke up to him thrown over me on his side and ( this is really cute) him humping my leg. No joke everynow and then he'd just start kinda rocking away at it. Which led me to believe he was awake so i stuck my hand in his pants. Apparently even then he just kept dreaming because once he had a full on hard on he looked over at me and said "Well this is a good way to wake up" and I was very confused having thought he had been awake for at least 5 mins. And all of that of course led to me giving him a most wonderful blow job because i felt like it ( something that almost never happens i hate doing it and am very good at it) lazy morning sex on our sides followed that and then not so lazy morning sex with Matt giving it to me in missionary like he'd never see me again ( oh yeah..... he probably wont ) He came into his hand he's very tidy. We lay back down together for a few minutes and then we got up and did our morning ritual of procrastination and kissing and quiet. I had to get my bus tickets before i brought all my stuff down to the station so we took our last train ride together. It was a very happy moment when i think it should have been sad. But time with Matty makes me nothing but smiles and we parted ways with one last sweet kiss and then he was gone. And a few hours later so was I.
-Ruby
-The Matt chronicles are dedicated to the best lover I've ever had.
--miss you Matty
Matt was late. Again. It was the saturday before the Sunday i left on a bus to my parents house to retrieve my car. We of coursed shared the first kiss in the parking lot. Only a peck as I tried to avoid yet again not to smear my amazingly hot dark red lipstick all over him. I had gone out and gotten him beer and i still had my HUUUUUGE bottle of wine i had gotten the night before. So we smoked and drank and talked on the couch, and groped of course. Theres just no way i could possibly ever try to keep my hands off him. We talked alot actually. i dont really remember about what. home, family, life in general. I never seem to sy what i really mean around Matt, like i just let spill the stupidest and most ridiculous things I could think of before i can stop myself. Which os course is because i like the boy but it didnt seem to bother him that all i do is make an ass outta myself.
Because he came over so late Matt kept saying how hungry he was so I told him to make food. He settled on good 'ole mac n' cheese. He kept insisting on how the difference between a dry measuring cup and a wet one was this huge difference, Ive never seen someone so adamant about measuring. I usually just fling it. The best part about Matty is how he always has to be right. It makes for many a ridiculous argument that of course leads to great sex! Matty put the water on and took my underwear off. For a while i had my head on my hands and my hands gripping the counter top while Matt took me from behind, his hands on my hips moving me back and forth with a loving ferociousness. Unfortunately this left my head to bang against the microwave on the counter. Also we were rocking into each other that he slipped out and i got RAMMED in the anus. Which would have been fine because I had let Matt go there ( i rarely let anyone in!) I tore and had a fissure ( a small inflammed piece of skin due to tearing from anal sex ) So i had to stop and go omg omgomgomgomg awowowowowowow and run to the bathroom because i thought i was going to throw up from pain.
But I got over it and came back to my adoring lover.
Since Jeffersons's kitchen is narrow we just adjusted the direction we were in and I bent over even farther. I had no idea i'd grown so flexible. I put one palm on the floor and with my right hand gripped the side of the fridge so i wouldnt lose balance.
After i got amazingly tired I went to lay on the couch while Matty finished the mac n' cheese. After we dined on that Matty went out on the porch and then came to lay with me on the couch. After lying about we sat up and i got on my knees facing the wall ( still on the couch) while Matt took me from behind. We're just really really good like that. After I got him to cum (finally! i hate alcoholics) he said stay right there and disappeared. He came back with my fav. big rubber dildo and some other things like lube. He used his hands and the toys and was kissing me and kissing me I never wanted it to stop. I came a few times ( sorry Jefferson! I cleaned it up. ) and then he got on top of me. We didnt get off the couch for a really long time. :: D
Eventually we both just wanted to hang out and lay down so we went into the bedroom. matty was so tired that he passed out while channel surfing so i ended up surfing til the Breakfast Club showed up and then realized i didnt want to watch t.v. So i turned it off and turned off the light and just lay in his arms listening to him half breath half purr until it dawned on me I wasnt tired and should pack the rest of my things. I crawled back into bed a little while later and fell asleep in my favorite place, curled up on Matt.
In the morning i woke up to him thrown over me on his side and ( this is really cute) him humping my leg. No joke everynow and then he'd just start kinda rocking away at it. Which led me to believe he was awake so i stuck my hand in his pants. Apparently even then he just kept dreaming because once he had a full on hard on he looked over at me and said "Well this is a good way to wake up" and I was very confused having thought he had been awake for at least 5 mins. And all of that of course led to me giving him a most wonderful blow job because i felt like it ( something that almost never happens i hate doing it and am very good at it) lazy morning sex on our sides followed that and then not so lazy morning sex with Matt giving it to me in missionary like he'd never see me again ( oh yeah..... he probably wont ) He came into his hand he's very tidy. We lay back down together for a few minutes and then we got up and did our morning ritual of procrastination and kissing and quiet. I had to get my bus tickets before i brought all my stuff down to the station so we took our last train ride together. It was a very happy moment when i think it should have been sad. But time with Matty makes me nothing but smiles and we parted ways with one last sweet kiss and then he was gone. And a few hours later so was I.
-Ruby
-The Matt chronicles are dedicated to the best lover I've ever had.
--miss you Matty
Thursday, July 12, 2007
The Giant Panda/we like it from the bottle
No Moral just Sex
Matt came over two nights ago. We were going to have a night of sex on shooms. But he couldnt get them. But he came over anyways cuz lets face it, we were made for each other. At least for the rest of the week.
He was a little late but he strolled up to the building about 10. i adore him. Seeing him stride up the curb, his hair all spiked up. hmm That first sweet kiss. Full of desire and want and sex to come and DESIRE. He could actually just come up to the apartment but i like to go get him. I like people seeing us together.
So he came in and we sat down on the couch. I was in the plaid skirt ( in my pic) with a cute black shirt with cap sleeves the bottom comes to my waist. I lost so much weight without knowing it that my skirt hangs down on my hips. im actually going to have to take it in soon. we decided to go back to the bedroom after chatting and kissing and me making love to his ear. That one of my fav things to do. He's so sensitive that with just a little, .. flick, of the tip of my tongue up the side of his ear is like an instant hard-on. I love to hear him moan. Normally i dont like to hear too many moans from the guy. But Matt has this mmm baby you're making me happy moan that i cannot get over. Like when he purrs in his sleep. So to let him know just how hot i can be, when we were in the bedroom i stepped out of my skirt with out un-zipping it. velveta hot hot hot. We had sex in missionary and with me on top and with me bent over the bed then we came into the living room and Matt told me to stand up. So he sat down in the middle of the couch and said sit down. mm so i did. i sat facing away from him gripping the coffee table with my hands and trying to get a good rhythm going. its so much easier when im drunk.
( takes huge swig of wine )
(continues story 2 weeks later)
sorry i was on vaca driving across the country!
anywho. So Matt and I had great hot sweaty sex and then we went to bed. :: D
( bad memory after two weeks sorry)
there was lots of snuggling and me making love to his ear. I like to admire him when he's not looking. Or when he is. As I have probably said before Matt is cut. I dont mean ripped i mean like cut out marble. Beautiful. Art. :: sigh:: Love of the loins!
oh and to explain part of the title but not all I like to drink champagne. Cheap champagne. (andre's) and i Have this picture of Matt drinking from my bottle ( yes i drink it straight up no cup) and then a few days later he sent me a pic of him drinking ( rum? ) straight from this gigantic bottle. so much fun!
Matt came over two nights ago. We were going to have a night of sex on shooms. But he couldnt get them. But he came over anyways cuz lets face it, we were made for each other. At least for the rest of the week.
He was a little late but he strolled up to the building about 10. i adore him. Seeing him stride up the curb, his hair all spiked up. hmm That first sweet kiss. Full of desire and want and sex to come and DESIRE. He could actually just come up to the apartment but i like to go get him. I like people seeing us together.
So he came in and we sat down on the couch. I was in the plaid skirt ( in my pic) with a cute black shirt with cap sleeves the bottom comes to my waist. I lost so much weight without knowing it that my skirt hangs down on my hips. im actually going to have to take it in soon. we decided to go back to the bedroom after chatting and kissing and me making love to his ear. That one of my fav things to do. He's so sensitive that with just a little, .. flick, of the tip of my tongue up the side of his ear is like an instant hard-on. I love to hear him moan. Normally i dont like to hear too many moans from the guy. But Matt has this mmm baby you're making me happy moan that i cannot get over. Like when he purrs in his sleep. So to let him know just how hot i can be, when we were in the bedroom i stepped out of my skirt with out un-zipping it. velveta hot hot hot. We had sex in missionary and with me on top and with me bent over the bed then we came into the living room and Matt told me to stand up. So he sat down in the middle of the couch and said sit down. mm so i did. i sat facing away from him gripping the coffee table with my hands and trying to get a good rhythm going. its so much easier when im drunk.
( takes huge swig of wine )
(continues story 2 weeks later)
sorry i was on vaca driving across the country!
anywho. So Matt and I had great hot sweaty sex and then we went to bed. :: D
( bad memory after two weeks sorry)
there was lots of snuggling and me making love to his ear. I like to admire him when he's not looking. Or when he is. As I have probably said before Matt is cut. I dont mean ripped i mean like cut out marble. Beautiful. Art. :: sigh:: Love of the loins!
oh and to explain part of the title but not all I like to drink champagne. Cheap champagne. (andre's) and i Have this picture of Matt drinking from my bottle ( yes i drink it straight up no cup) and then a few days later he sent me a pic of him drinking ( rum? ) straight from this gigantic bottle. so much fun!
Monday, July 9, 2007
Oh!, my goshfuckyesmmdontstopMatt, Oh!
Why am I leaving?
What possessed me to pack up and leave? OOOoh yeah I didnt know Matt yet. ( Matt has no connection to Jefferson's except that we fucked there cuz its where Im staying)
I believe in theories. I like to create new and exciting theories based on watching and recording ( with my BRAIN!) action and reaction. And I believe that as a person i truly have nothing to lose.
Moral of the day:
You never do. Nobody does. Theres really no reason you cant get what you want ( within reason dont go hacking people up now) You have nothing to lose, pride? rejection, feelings take minutes to get over. Material items? Its just stuff. Only when you realize you have nothing to lose can you truly gain anything.
Backstory!:
I had a fashion show at my school last month or the month before. It was put on after I graduated so I had to come back for it. So im lookin all nice, hot dress hot shoes tattoo blazing. And i see this guy thats pretty fine. My first thought is, ( for once) "man I HAVE to talk to that guy." But my mom is with me and my love child and best friend Krystina. Now Krystina wouldnt mind but my mother? shady. So as we do a run though I realize I am going to be sitting RIght next to mr. hot pants for the show, because his camera was right next to the stage. So i talk to him, friendly conversation. Ive never just gone up to a guy. It was pleasant. And at the end of the show I was like so you think its going to be good? And he pulled me up to his camera was showed me how he got all the angles. So i invite him to my going away party, at which he never showed for lack of being sober and not being able to follow my directions. ( dont get me wrong though we were constantly on the phone with each other trying to get him here. ) And woke up in a hospital without pants or a shirt apparently.
SEX!:
But last night, last night he was back in town and I was hanging out and we decided to Finally get together. He got to my apartment at about 10 and from 10 to 1110 we talked. really thats all we did smoked a bowl had some alcohol and just talked. And then i couldnt stand it any more and I grabbed his face and started kissing him. And he pulled me in real close and put his hand on my back and did that quick flip her onto her back thing. So i slyly suggested the bedroom.
I dont even know how many times we had sex that night. Because he was drunk it was harder than normal to get off for him even though hes one of those guys who can go 8 or 9 rounds anyway. I cannot even begin to explain how excited I was to Finally be having sex with Matt. But I NEVER could have guessed how good he is at it. Im used to dissapointment. But to compensate he decided to use toys on me. He didnt have to compensate by the way. But he wanted to. His suggestion! So not only did we go like 4 or 5 rounds in missionary, doggie style me bent over the bed, and so on, which meant we had to keep moving outta the bedroom cuz we kept steaming it up, but then he wants to use toys on me? Marry me, seriously.
And then we went another few rounds. We had sex outside on a chair on the patio where i HOPE people were awe'd by our amazing acts. :: D
After a few more rounds in the bedroom with and without toys he just couldnt stop fucking me. And I could touch stop touhing him, not for a second, well maybe just long enough to take a towel and rub the sweat off. I orgasmed while he was using my fav. dildo and he was AMAZED he just kept saying how great it was that i did that for him and Im like did that for you? Thanks for doing that to ME. So then we were going to sleep so we had to shower. So we had lots of sex in the shower. And as i was gasping for breath with his hand around my throat his other hand wrapped around from behind playing with me and breathed out, im not on birth control. Sexiest moment of my life. Up until the shower we had been using a condom. So with that warning we kept right on going. i didnt know i could twist and hold the positions i got myself into in the shower. Like the best one of the shower part of the evening, the "Roman Statue of Lovers" as i have so named it.
Lesson:
So Matt had his back to the shower head. His right arm was around my waist helping to hold me up. His left arm was griping the shower curtain rod. heh Rod. um yeah to help hold himself up. I was facing him ( and kissing him a lot and then i was...) bent backward ( im tall so keep this in mind ) with my head just bumping the back wall of the shower. my right hand was either gripping the curtain rod or pressed into the wall just behind my head (during which my head was bent further down in PLEASURE) my left arm was around Matt's waist (its Beautiful) . My left foot was arched, toes and ball of foot pressing into the wall where the shower head was attached. My right foot was also arched so most of my weight was balanced on the toes and ball of my right foot. And then thrust! And there you have the "Roman Statue of Lovers" It amazing and dangerous when wet, but you can only do it wet! Live dangerously people.
sex:
Those twists and thrusts definately didnt get any less complicated when we went back to "sleep" oh we slept and we slept and we slept... mmm... he finally came on his own tummy after we 69 ( hadnt done that in a while) and after another break in the living room while he was finshing my champagne he softly asked about anal. IT was so cute. I havent done that in years. But he looked at me and everything he wanted I would give him. And give i did. It was so good. We move really well together. At one point he was laying on my back with his arm around my shoulders and one hand was under my left arm ( like if you were dragging a drowing personoutta a lake) and he had his fingers wrapped around mine with both our hands on my left shoulder. And he was just giving it to me like there was no tomorrow. And i wished tomorrow never came.
When we really did lay down to sleep at 3 he threw himself on the bed and put his arm out and did that come here head nod. mmm. I dont care to sleep with most of the guys i have sex with. Im usually like, thanks get out. But lying with Matt all curled up in our sex, i never felt better. he snores alot. But right before he started snoring he purred. It was like he was csoo content with himself that the Big bad Panther was purring and wriggling down next to me. Id never been so turned On. He said he'd done firsts ( like making a girl cum) and that it was by far the best night of sex he'd ever have. I told he caught me on a low engery week. He said Ill see you Tuesday.
-Ruby
What possessed me to pack up and leave? OOOoh yeah I didnt know Matt yet. ( Matt has no connection to Jefferson's except that we fucked there cuz its where Im staying)
I believe in theories. I like to create new and exciting theories based on watching and recording ( with my BRAIN!) action and reaction. And I believe that as a person i truly have nothing to lose.
Moral of the day:
You never do. Nobody does. Theres really no reason you cant get what you want ( within reason dont go hacking people up now) You have nothing to lose, pride? rejection, feelings take minutes to get over. Material items? Its just stuff. Only when you realize you have nothing to lose can you truly gain anything.
Backstory!:
I had a fashion show at my school last month or the month before. It was put on after I graduated so I had to come back for it. So im lookin all nice, hot dress hot shoes tattoo blazing. And i see this guy thats pretty fine. My first thought is, ( for once) "man I HAVE to talk to that guy." But my mom is with me and my love child and best friend Krystina. Now Krystina wouldnt mind but my mother? shady. So as we do a run though I realize I am going to be sitting RIght next to mr. hot pants for the show, because his camera was right next to the stage. So i talk to him, friendly conversation. Ive never just gone up to a guy. It was pleasant. And at the end of the show I was like so you think its going to be good? And he pulled me up to his camera was showed me how he got all the angles. So i invite him to my going away party, at which he never showed for lack of being sober and not being able to follow my directions. ( dont get me wrong though we were constantly on the phone with each other trying to get him here. ) And woke up in a hospital without pants or a shirt apparently.
SEX!:
But last night, last night he was back in town and I was hanging out and we decided to Finally get together. He got to my apartment at about 10 and from 10 to 1110 we talked. really thats all we did smoked a bowl had some alcohol and just talked. And then i couldnt stand it any more and I grabbed his face and started kissing him. And he pulled me in real close and put his hand on my back and did that quick flip her onto her back thing. So i slyly suggested the bedroom.
I dont even know how many times we had sex that night. Because he was drunk it was harder than normal to get off for him even though hes one of those guys who can go 8 or 9 rounds anyway. I cannot even begin to explain how excited I was to Finally be having sex with Matt. But I NEVER could have guessed how good he is at it. Im used to dissapointment. But to compensate he decided to use toys on me. He didnt have to compensate by the way. But he wanted to. His suggestion! So not only did we go like 4 or 5 rounds in missionary, doggie style me bent over the bed, and so on, which meant we had to keep moving outta the bedroom cuz we kept steaming it up, but then he wants to use toys on me? Marry me, seriously.
And then we went another few rounds. We had sex outside on a chair on the patio where i HOPE people were awe'd by our amazing acts. :: D
After a few more rounds in the bedroom with and without toys he just couldnt stop fucking me. And I could touch stop touhing him, not for a second, well maybe just long enough to take a towel and rub the sweat off. I orgasmed while he was using my fav. dildo and he was AMAZED he just kept saying how great it was that i did that for him and Im like did that for you? Thanks for doing that to ME. So then we were going to sleep so we had to shower. So we had lots of sex in the shower. And as i was gasping for breath with his hand around my throat his other hand wrapped around from behind playing with me and breathed out, im not on birth control. Sexiest moment of my life. Up until the shower we had been using a condom. So with that warning we kept right on going. i didnt know i could twist and hold the positions i got myself into in the shower. Like the best one of the shower part of the evening, the "Roman Statue of Lovers" as i have so named it.
Lesson:
So Matt had his back to the shower head. His right arm was around my waist helping to hold me up. His left arm was griping the shower curtain rod. heh Rod. um yeah to help hold himself up. I was facing him ( and kissing him a lot and then i was...) bent backward ( im tall so keep this in mind ) with my head just bumping the back wall of the shower. my right hand was either gripping the curtain rod or pressed into the wall just behind my head (during which my head was bent further down in PLEASURE) my left arm was around Matt's waist (its Beautiful) . My left foot was arched, toes and ball of foot pressing into the wall where the shower head was attached. My right foot was also arched so most of my weight was balanced on the toes and ball of my right foot. And then thrust! And there you have the "Roman Statue of Lovers" It amazing and dangerous when wet, but you can only do it wet! Live dangerously people.
sex:
Those twists and thrusts definately didnt get any less complicated when we went back to "sleep" oh we slept and we slept and we slept... mmm... he finally came on his own tummy after we 69 ( hadnt done that in a while) and after another break in the living room while he was finshing my champagne he softly asked about anal. IT was so cute. I havent done that in years. But he looked at me and everything he wanted I would give him. And give i did. It was so good. We move really well together. At one point he was laying on my back with his arm around my shoulders and one hand was under my left arm ( like if you were dragging a drowing personoutta a lake) and he had his fingers wrapped around mine with both our hands on my left shoulder. And he was just giving it to me like there was no tomorrow. And i wished tomorrow never came.
When we really did lay down to sleep at 3 he threw himself on the bed and put his arm out and did that come here head nod. mmm. I dont care to sleep with most of the guys i have sex with. Im usually like, thanks get out. But lying with Matt all curled up in our sex, i never felt better. he snores alot. But right before he started snoring he purred. It was like he was csoo content with himself that the Big bad Panther was purring and wriggling down next to me. Id never been so turned On. He said he'd done firsts ( like making a girl cum) and that it was by far the best night of sex he'd ever have. I told he caught me on a low engery week. He said Ill see you Tuesday.
-Ruby
Friday, July 6, 2007
And then She was a Trani
What to say about Today? May I begin with a day I was thirteen? Yes, please.
Backstory!:
When I was thirteen I was forced to follow in my sisters footsteps on yet another occasion. She was leaving and I was to babysit the neighbors kids. (I lived in Central NY, i had to be driven there and we only passed 5 houses. ) I was relatively good at it alone but on this occasion I had my friend with me. Two stupid 13 year old girls are not responsible, people! No one should have let that happen in the begining.
Dont worry! I can see it in your face, nobody died! worst of it was an open window by a bed that i didnt realize had no screen. That was irresponsible cuz i was a stupid kid. But when i got FIRED later that night ( rightly so ) my mother wanted to talk to me in her room.
While she was getting ready for bed she was yelling at me for being stupid ( to sum it up )and the FIRST thing out of my mouth as a response was "IT ISNT MY FAULT!" but it kinda died towards the end and i have no idea what my mother got on about cuz all I could think was wait, yes it is. I was Responsible for those kids, and I fucked up. Ever since then I have spent more waking and dreams hours than i can remember ( I became a lucid dreamer ) thinking and painfully going over, mistakes, things that are flaws in my personality, rage, ignorance, hate
but also the other side of my life, good intentions, love, ( above all else i believe in luf) patterns, connections, my part in the world. .. anything and EVERYTHING that could possible contain ... me. Now i know this sounds vain of me but to understand myself i had to understand my part in others' lives, in the world. And when i find something about me that could be better, reviewing my life and my choices daily ( I live in nYC i have to reflect often) finding where i err'ed and when it was another, i find something i can change. I only change for the better Progress is Change, Change is Progress. Good Change Only. ( hey buddy , spare any Change?)
not SEXy:
So ive been spending every moment i can trying to build a smarter, more conscious me, it doesnt always work. I've always been very open to love and at the same time very afraid of it. So i'd like to think im a very aware person excluding those moment I walk around in a HAZE 9 wink wink). As it happens i'd already gone home and changed into denim cutoffs black halter and kitty headband. Met up with Christine! got hazy, got groceries together and parted ways on the corner. On my way back to the train i take these days some dark skinned person walked by me saying SOMEthing like "Isnt' it a great day out, TRANNI?
having a great..... " as I walked past him going whaaa...? ( drool) ( im very tired these days, cough cough ) So heres the thing, wierd shit has and will ALWAYS happen to ME. It runs in my family, we cant get rid of it.And yeah i'm very androgenous especially with short hair, but NEVER with my legs all busted out up to my thighs. And a Tranni?! geez, thanks!? ( some of those ladies have GREAT legs.)
One more thing
MORAL: ( be nice people)
I have this tattoo. Now Everyone on Earth feels the need to comment , "she's got Angel Wings on her back!" They aren't angel wings but yes they are wings, it stems from many a lucid dream ( connection to first point the one that set everything in motion, me as 13)
My question is: what if i were an angel, someone to walk amongst the masses being completely harmless, just a little different, and record their reactions. Not there to judge but to report back to the hot lady in the sky so SHE can beat the crap outta y'all. MWHAHAhahaha. ehem.
But that thought led me to the books i just finished re-reading. Kusheil's..(Theres three of them)
What if instead of some Angel as most people label my piece at sight. Just a higher Person. A Lypiphera. A Protecter and Someone who can take all the rejection in the world and just take it in? Gauge, Record, React accordingly, Walk away shaking head whenever possible. Someone compassionate, would take in the bad and try not to let the hate fill up inside. ( i use sports, its quite handy) Produce only good. Good three-fold: Good thoughts, good will, good deeds
Its pretty hard living to Ny and nobody's perfect but why not be nice to your neighbor and not creep around spying on them ( or me rather now that im living at Jeffersons for my temp last week in the city) What a creepy old man! Anyway. Maybe Im special in a super human way after all, o r maybe im just a little too vain for my own good.
-Ruby
Backstory!:
When I was thirteen I was forced to follow in my sisters footsteps on yet another occasion. She was leaving and I was to babysit the neighbors kids. (I lived in Central NY, i had to be driven there and we only passed 5 houses. ) I was relatively good at it alone but on this occasion I had my friend with me. Two stupid 13 year old girls are not responsible, people! No one should have let that happen in the begining.
Dont worry! I can see it in your face, nobody died! worst of it was an open window by a bed that i didnt realize had no screen. That was irresponsible cuz i was a stupid kid. But when i got FIRED later that night ( rightly so ) my mother wanted to talk to me in her room.
While she was getting ready for bed she was yelling at me for being stupid ( to sum it up )and the FIRST thing out of my mouth as a response was "IT ISNT MY FAULT!" but it kinda died towards the end and i have no idea what my mother got on about cuz all I could think was wait, yes it is. I was Responsible for those kids, and I fucked up. Ever since then I have spent more waking and dreams hours than i can remember ( I became a lucid dreamer ) thinking and painfully going over, mistakes, things that are flaws in my personality, rage, ignorance, hate
but also the other side of my life, good intentions, love, ( above all else i believe in luf) patterns, connections, my part in the world. .. anything and EVERYTHING that could possible contain ... me. Now i know this sounds vain of me but to understand myself i had to understand my part in others' lives, in the world. And when i find something about me that could be better, reviewing my life and my choices daily ( I live in nYC i have to reflect often) finding where i err'ed and when it was another, i find something i can change. I only change for the better Progress is Change, Change is Progress. Good Change Only. ( hey buddy , spare any Change?)
not SEXy:
So ive been spending every moment i can trying to build a smarter, more conscious me, it doesnt always work. I've always been very open to love and at the same time very afraid of it. So i'd like to think im a very aware person excluding those moment I walk around in a HAZE 9 wink wink). As it happens i'd already gone home and changed into denim cutoffs black halter and kitty headband. Met up with Christine! got hazy, got groceries together and parted ways on the corner. On my way back to the train i take these days some dark skinned person walked by me saying SOMEthing like "Isnt' it a great day out, TRANNI?
having a great..... " as I walked past him going whaaa...? ( drool) ( im very tired these days, cough cough ) So heres the thing, wierd shit has and will ALWAYS happen to ME. It runs in my family, we cant get rid of it.And yeah i'm very androgenous especially with short hair, but NEVER with my legs all busted out up to my thighs. And a Tranni?! geez, thanks!? ( some of those ladies have GREAT legs.)
One more thing
MORAL: ( be nice people)
I have this tattoo. Now Everyone on Earth feels the need to comment , "she's got Angel Wings on her back!" They aren't angel wings but yes they are wings, it stems from many a lucid dream ( connection to first point the one that set everything in motion, me as 13)
My question is: what if i were an angel, someone to walk amongst the masses being completely harmless, just a little different, and record their reactions. Not there to judge but to report back to the hot lady in the sky so SHE can beat the crap outta y'all. MWHAHAhahaha. ehem.
But that thought led me to the books i just finished re-reading. Kusheil's..(Theres three of them)
What if instead of some Angel as most people label my piece at sight. Just a higher Person. A Lypiphera. A Protecter and Someone who can take all the rejection in the world and just take it in? Gauge, Record, React accordingly, Walk away shaking head whenever possible. Someone compassionate, would take in the bad and try not to let the hate fill up inside. ( i use sports, its quite handy) Produce only good. Good three-fold: Good thoughts, good will, good deeds
Its pretty hard living to Ny and nobody's perfect but why not be nice to your neighbor and not creep around spying on them ( or me rather now that im living at Jeffersons for my temp last week in the city) What a creepy old man! Anyway. Maybe Im special in a super human way after all, o r maybe im just a little too vain for my own good.
-Ruby
Thursday, July 5, 2007
First Encounter: To the Moon and Back
Now i believe is the time to tell the WORLD! about my first encounter. It was scary ladies and gents, it was magical, it was AMAZING.
BACKSTORY!:
My Friend Wendy was the first to caress my ear with the whisper of it. It was a chance. A chance to see if the things in my head were the same when realized, a soft gentle tugging at my curiosity. I could talk the talk could i own up to my thoughts and walk the walk? Could i go to .... an orgy?
of course! i told Wendy. But the day before came and the day came, and my doubts were settling in, I was tired i would look like crap having no time to go home after work. I would go to Wendy's house and primp there then we would skip willingly into the den of mystery.
but would i go, the end of my work day was approaching, I would only back out with so much time to spare. But i think with the blog being here that everyone knows what happened. i went, or came as it would turn out.
SEX:
Wendy and I were some of the first people there. We walked in on a clothed Jefferson in the kitchen, cooking no less! Like two naked nadies weren't lounging about like renissance paintings in his living room, completely comfortable that a stranger walked in while they were naked. Or Nude rather, theres quite a difference . Hugs and kisses and hello's all around and finally a guy shows up, I ran to get champagne for Wendy and I. By the time i got back, there were people EVERYWHERE. In fact on my way back to Jefferson's i heard a guy comment after I walked by. i thought it was some stick in the mud making a comment about my green short hair. Few mintues later him and his friend showup at Jefferson's door!
So slowly i take my clothes off other people take my clothes off, Wendy rips off my underwear and ten seconds later im in Jeffersons bedroom. Sweet Cherry pie i didnt know who was touching me where. i DO know ( remember im not drunk quite yet at this point) that some AMAZING man was giving me head like it was his JOB. And i think it must have been cuz hes the only one whos ever really done it right. No rephrase. HES THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS EVER DONE IT RIGHT. There thats better. Jake was it? props to you my friend. There was a HOT girl in black glasses. very sexy librarian . MY GOODNESS i need her number.
back to the point shall we? After the good head I got... doo do do DOooo.....! JEFFERSON!
nicely done ole chap. Jefferson is good in bed AND has the Best hands ever for anyone who DOESNT know ( who doesnt know? Looks around, doesnt see anybody who doesnt know)
So then i realize wait! I am very drunk! YAY! So I let Wendy fuck me with a strap on. Which I am sad to say did not go over well as she is a friend of mine and I was not comfortable with it.
BUT
the orgy continued. Theres just so much more else to say i fear this would be much to long. Just know, that it did NOT stop there and the good stuff goes on late into the night. \for more details just ask.
-Ruby
MORAL:
Be comfortable with youself. Be open-minded.
from marriage proposals to puking
For my first trick...!
This story is something im proud of. It has gotten every reaction from passing out to asking for my hand, deep breath, here we go:
One night after i had gotten out of class, my friend and i went to a bar where the ladies knew me and loved me and assumed i was of age. My friend got WASTED! and had to go home. I was DRUNK! and decided to go see a friend. My friend and I parted ways at the train. I had to go a few stops then transfer to another train and go no more than 4 stops.
heres where it gets tricky,
I made it to my transfer AOK! the next train however was not so good to me.
I was hanging on to the pole by the door. I had two stops to go before i could run up the stairs and into the fresh air where the ground was solid.
Except i didnt make it that far. I threw up four times in a row. Why four times you ask?
because i didnt want to puke on anyone so i threw up in my mouth and swallowed it. ehem FOUR TIMES. I made it to my stop without anyone knowing and unfortunately couldnt throw up again once i got to my friends house.
Now you know the type of person i am.
when it comes to throw up.
This story is something im proud of. It has gotten every reaction from passing out to asking for my hand, deep breath, here we go:
One night after i had gotten out of class, my friend and i went to a bar where the ladies knew me and loved me and assumed i was of age. My friend got WASTED! and had to go home. I was DRUNK! and decided to go see a friend. My friend and I parted ways at the train. I had to go a few stops then transfer to another train and go no more than 4 stops.
heres where it gets tricky,
I made it to my transfer AOK! the next train however was not so good to me.
I was hanging on to the pole by the door. I had two stops to go before i could run up the stairs and into the fresh air where the ground was solid.
Except i didnt make it that far. I threw up four times in a row. Why four times you ask?
because i didnt want to puke on anyone so i threw up in my mouth and swallowed it. ehem FOUR TIMES. I made it to my stop without anyone knowing and unfortunately couldnt throw up again once i got to my friends house.
Now you know the type of person i am.
when it comes to throw up.
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