The Rant AND the Rave about Luf

So the boy from okcupid.


I am unique. I am strange. i know when i will love someone.


Never in my LIFE have i met anyone who some completley compliments me.

So Skyler. The boy who gives me everything I want without knowing I want it. Im so scared.
I have to urge to run away. I have the thougt that he will run away. Im so scared.

Someone reassure me. SOmeone hold me and tel lme I will be fine. Oh wait thats something Sky would do if he knew how i felt. But i cant tell him. Its been a week! he's aboy. He would run. WOuldnt he?


Would you? How am I supposed to let my guard down? After the most terrible of relationships in 03-'04 the love of my life, the douche bag of america, the scars i wear!

I talk to this boy everynight. Everything he says makes me wish with all my soul that he were next to me. That somehow if I close my eyes and wish enough I could be next to him. But I cant tell him. I wont be able to tell him the next time i see him ( if i get the days off) And i wont be able to tell him the time after that. I cant tell him on the phone ( his reaction could be a lie how would i know? i wouldnt be there to see it) I just cant bear to say it. Iliek you , eventually I love you. i cant say it anymore. Saying it means it'll end. This boy has no idea how fucked up I am.


What do i do? how do i stop freaking out and go with the flow? Everything I know says he'll run. Everythign i Know tells me im the one who will fuck it up.

i wish i wish i wish


wishing does nothing for the soul.

End of Rant. Beginning of worry, luf, and heartache.