And the reason is.... Jordan?

hmm so Mark ( the guy i am uber in like with ) was suposse to come back tofday but no one has heard form him.


in his absense....


ok so the night of mimosas and goodbyes I walked outside what is now emy front door to what i believe was Mark telling Jordan to go for me. Which sucked but hey the guy's attached i knew that wasnt going anywhere. So im all who wants a mimosa!!!!!!!!!!

and Jordan says ok.

So since then i've only really seen him at work. BUt i keep staring at him. He's a bit bigger than i like my white boys but it isnt something that bothers me. And we make each other smile hardcore. like the smile that you cant make go away until you press your lips in and think of other things.

The other day I was walking with my neighbor Blue who yes i've had sex with. it was short and sweet for him becuase im just that good. BUT anyway we were walking to the grocery store and we see Jordan at the laundry mat ( even though he lives like a half hour away possibly more) and I bust on him all the time for not coming by the apartment and he throws me shitty excuses) So now its like our thing. I pretend to be really mad at him and we glare at each other til someone cracks. it's usually me.

TOday I was on register and he was wheeling water up to the front and there was customer traffic meaning people were being retarded so he stopped next to me and just stared so i stared and then looked down and looked back up and he was still staring. Then we smiled. And kept smiling. and he went to work and i went to work. ANd i look up again and he's looking at me so i stick my tongue out at him. And he smiles and I smile and i couldnt make it go away. For like 3 mins straight i have this goofy secret smile. SO i look over and he's doing the exact same thing. kinda tight lips but smiling the same i cant make this smile go away thing i was doing. Then we stared at each other form across the store while he stocked shelves and i was still on reg. ITs so odd, i havent had this feeling in a very long time. I want to explore it.

but he doesnt have enough time for me. He's in school. I know i wouldnt be happy with the lack of atention. but who knows right?

-Ruby