It always comes out wrong

Lord, life is so insane. Why would you have created a place in which everyone is MAD?


completely off their rockers.


like me for instance.


put up a parking lot. Couldnt have had paradise either. but it's great to know how strongly I feel about one of my friends who just so happens to be moving today and also going to visit his gf in australia.




Why, life do you have to treat me this way? A firm believer in the everything happens for a reason theory I cant see the reason in most parts of these last few weeks. with my living situation that i cant talk about here cuz i'll get narked on for having a feeling of own i might want to express and the girl i was looking for a place with deciding to just leave and the boy drama. I've found 2 who hit me hard in the face with feelings and couldnt have either one. TWo! i couldnt even find one in NYC in almost 3 years.


There had better be a damn good reason for this.


-Ruby

If you Ask Me to be Clever I'll Break Your Face

Im really grumpy and depressed though still quite happy with my current situation. Looking for an apartment wondering if im going to sex up this semi random guy whos not my type but has a bangin body.

hopefully seeing Matthieu next sunday, doubt ill be able to sex him up but maybe ill force him to make out with me.


Trying to ignore the burning desire to call Sky and occasionally failing miserably ( like when he texts me telling me to call him later)hey SOMETIMES i resist.

I just need to pick a co worker and be like hey you fuck me.

worked last time and i didnt even have to say anything.

The Low Down ... and Dirty

Ok so the news goes as follows....

I decided to fight for love. Wrote Sky a message telling him just that among other well written comments. He wrote back saying he was sick and would write me later tonight, I think he fell asleep in the lobby. I still have hope although it is small.


I went on a meeting with Matthieu from Okcupid who i seem interested in b/c he is cute and innocent and i can totally corrupt him.


I had sex with some co-workers.


That right I said co-workERS


MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. I rock.

But of course

FUCK you. Fuck you for pretending to be right for me and not meaning it.

Fuck you for making me have a feeling and then taking it away.

FUCK YOU for not realizing or being afraid of what could have happened.



FUCK YOU.

I knew that he didnt really want what i wanted. back to breaking hearts and not getting emotionally attached.